2012

Wow I cannot believe how this past year has flown by and we are now in the year 2012. As I sit here trying to video chat with my husband and update my blog forgive me if I mispell something.
I have a few goals for the year 2012, Here is a rundown:
1. My number one goal is to LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!
2. Stop worrying about anyone else that does not matter.
3. I want to pray more and learn, and teach my daughter more about the Bible.
4. I want to learn some more patience and not seem so frustrated.

Well it is a start the weight thing is the biggest goal so far. My way of starting out is to quit drinking soda. I can't quit cold turkey though so it will be a slow process.
On a really good note Matthew will be in Ozark Arkansas for the next nine months. I am STOKED! So I see many road trips for me and my booger to take, Which means lots of dramamine so there will be no puking in my car. Speaking of puke I have to go clean some up. UGH my child pukes so much and I can't figure out why. She has such a weak stomach like her momma.
The other thing I am gonna really try to keep this blog updated on how our lives change so someday looking back Olivia can see what went on. Nothing on my blog is really important to most but it is to us. I will soon have some pics to upload now that I actually have a new computer.
I love my family and my life bring on what lies ahead in the year 2012!

Blogs!

I really am not sure how to go about writing this blog. I have spent the past few hours catching up on blogs that I LOVE LOVE LOVE to read. It is not noseyness I just get some inspiration from some and laughter from others. Although a few of the people I know but others I have never met but someday would actually love to.
I hate death especially when it comes to children and babies. We have a 6 (almost 7) year old and she is healthy and my whole world. We have struggled with infertility for almost 6 years now and it has had it's ups and downs, actually more downs, but we are coming to grips that God's plan for us maybe to only have one child and for whatever that reason may be I am olay with. I am not saying that my heart still aches for just one more baby that is mine but I am OKAY!
Now going back to other blogs! I have followed this certain blog and this sweet couple has a set of twins. I knew they had lost a baby boy but have never really watched or read back for fear of feeling heartache and as I was sitting here alone I decided I was going to do it. Thru the tears I am writing this and seeing the slideshow in my mind and what they must have felt like holding their baby while it took it's last breath. UGH I am so thankful to have what I have and a healthy girl and one AMAZING husband.
I have a good friend who buried her son after a battle with cancer and still to this day I remember exactly how he looked in his casket. Although we have kind of drifted apart I still pray for their family and will always. I have never done too well with funerals and stuff and I will have to say that day effected me in ways I cannot imagine and I am not to one who was actaully going thru it.
I may not attend church like I should but I still pray for God to watch out for us all and take the pain away. My mother lost a baby after carrying her for 9 months and I still wonder what our family would be like if there was another girl and what she would look like and if we would be close like my sister and I am now. I pray for my daughter to never have to feel pain and live a long happy life.
I pray and hope that someday if I can't have another blessing than maybe I can answer some prayers for another child in need of a family. This has been such a good weekend and I will end it with I thank God for everything and I am very blessed.

A new Start in 2012!

Okay so 2011 I have to say has been a real test for us as a family. Here's a recap. It started out okay still had some work but not as much as before. We were owed a lot of money and had to fight with some rude people and finally got it but it is so hard once you get behind you seem to struggle to catch up. I have had lots of trial and tribulations with people I was close to and not real sure it will ever be the same. M started his new job which was a huge adjustment on me and O because we didn't see him much. Then when we got home I had a massive infection that I let go way to long in my knee. It hurt so bad and I spent 4 days in the hospital on so nasty antibiotics that made me feel like death! Then once again I got slammed with a humungo (not really a word but oh well) bill which luckily they worked with us. So then I got 3 more infections throughout by body but caught them very quickly and only the last one was stubborn and had to be cut open, and of course it was on my face. So in turn more work missed. I hate missing work I feel like I let everyone down, but hey gotta watch out for my babies at work. With no insurance it has been rough.
So now we are ending 2011 on a positive note. We are selling some stuff we don't need, as of January 1st I have an insurance policy that my bosses found it isn't full but it is something and I am thankful. M got to stay home for almost 2 weeks and it has been nice. O has been battling a nasty cold, which so am I. But I am looking forward to what 2012 has to throw at me because this last year has been rough so I think we are good to go at what is coming our way.
One of the many things I have learned this year is you should never get comfortable with the things and materials that you are use too because you never know when "LIFE" might change. I am thankful that I was reminded even though it was a hard lesson. I love my life and everything and everyone I have in it. And I don't know if they will ever read this but I had a couple brought into my life about 7 1/2 months ago and I think God knew I would need them to show me there are good in people. They are truly my "Gaurdian Angles"!
HAPPY NEW YEAR and my goal is to try and keep up with this darn blog so I can look back later in life and remember all that I have went through. Even if there isn't one person who reads this, this is for me and me only to document our lives.

Birthdays, Holidays and good friends

First off one of my very good friends just turned 30! Danielle is such an amazing friend, she has always been there for me and never judges and would do anything for anyone. Love you girl and wish you the very best happiness and miss seeing you everyday at work.

Thanksgiving was good as usual. We are so very blessed with amazing family. We spent the first part of the day at Matt's family and the second half with mine. It was a busy but very fun day. My sister in law and I decided to run to town black friday but didnt do any shopping i just needed to hit up the pharmacy.
I wad very happy that M and I got 4 days together and that is the most since this new job. I am looking for a reason to go back to NC, it is absolutly gorgous and it is my new love I dream of someday going back. If it wasn't for my whole family being here I would pack up and leave tomorrow they are the only ones holding me here. Because I knoe the friends I want to keep up with will keep in touch and the others sorta drifted away and that is okay.
I am looking forward to Christmas but not as much as usual I guess it is just not the same M and I always pick O's presents out together and I of course had to go it alone this year but I have realized life is changing in so many ways. My husband is amazing and I thank God that I have him. He is wiling to do whatever it takes to support his family. He still loves it and the company is a good company to work for and that is really hard to find these days.
Olivia is.doing good in school her grades are slipping just a bit from the beginning of school so we r trying to get back on track. Her Christmas program is Tuesday night and I am super excited bc I have heard a lot from her. Well the weekend is coming to an end and I am okay with it bc I get a bit lonely on the weekends w/o M home and I don't get to talk to him much bc he works 7 days a week and doesnt get back to motel till about 6 or 7.
Well a little catch up I am still doing as good as I can be with my best friend gone but I am thankful we both have jobs.

I am in a Funk!!

I am in such a funk these past few months and I am having a hard time finding my way out o it! I have tons of stuff to be thankful for but I am just having a hard time getting past a few things! My momma is doing wonderful and again I am so proud of her!
My husband has only been gone since Monday and of course it is only Wednesday, therefore I am in for a VERY LONG month till Thankgiving! On a good note I am stoked my awesome cousin Kevin emailed me and invited me to his fall festivle party and I am stoked. It is crazy how as we get older and have families we kinda do our own things. Even though we live in thw same town we still only get together a few times a year, that's life right! But i am super stoked to be able to go and spend some time with them.
On the subject of life, hehe here we go! I sometimes have such a hard time thinking that I am almost 30 and still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. LOL I have realized inthe past few months that sometimes through life friends come and go and the ones that stay are true. I have had a hard time with this and feel that I am always the one to blame. Just because I dont give up all o my spare time does not mean I wouldn't do anything for anyone. I hate when someone says that I let them down and was not there for them. It kills me but at the same time I look back at what i have done yes I may not do everything but I am there when needed. What I dont get is people do not know how to communicate, if something is bothering you or you need someone's help just ask. Too many people dont and then get mad because "well you should have known". Well forgive me for stressing over my own life! And there is also a way of talking to people and working through problems instead of talking down to someone and making them feel awful.
Okay anyways I feel much better to get that off my chest! And NO this is not directed at one certain person it is just how I feel. I am here to live for God and take care of my family I try and treat people with respect and listen with an open heart! God is teaching me more patience and more tolerance nd definatly forgiveness! Well I am off for now maybe I will rant some more later! :)

Baby oil

So had a good weekend with Matthew this weekend, it ended too soon! I had just the funniest story I had to tell about Olivia. So she went to take a bath the other day and normally she takes a shower and does it all by herself. Well it was taking her way too long so i went to check on her and she was just sitting there. Ha here comes the funny part i sat on the side of the tub and put my feet in the water to help her was up and for some odd reason it was all oily. So i asked her if she poured baby oil in the tub and she just looked down like she was totoally busted. So i got her cleaned up and drained the tub and of course it is still really slick! I explained to her that she is not allowed to touch it, that it was for me to use to shave my legs. So then I go to wake her up for school and her hair was so oily and yuck. Her teacher prolly thinks she hasnt bathed in weeks. Lol. And on top of that I almost busted it taking a shower this morning! Oh the joys of having a 6 year old.

Random Thoughts!

Okay so tonight I am sitting here texting my husband. I just miss him so much but he is doing what we need to do right now. I wish life was a bit easier at times but I am so thankful for what I have. God is seeing my family through some rough times but I try to keep in mind it could be worse. I love my husband more than I could ever express.
Onto some other thoughts this past month has been whirlwind of tears of fear and sadness and lots of tears of happiness. My mother is 100% cancer free. It is amazing the prayer chain that was going on during this scary time. She is recovering very well and I am so VERY proud of her and hope I am half as strong as she is.
My daughter has been dong so well in school. I have to brag a bit she is reading like a pro. So I think is time to have a little mother daughter outing next weekend to the Public Library here is town. I have heard they have an amazing kids section. I have to admit I am a bit excited too.
Work has been pretty good I mean I get paid to play with the cutest babies ever. I love them and it is totally crazy how attached you can get to them little stinkers.
Okay so there is this new seires called "Whitney" and I think it is so funny and I absolutly recommend that everyone try to watch it next week. So funny! Okay so that is about all I have to say.

Maybe some pics to go with a post some are of my baby girl and the others are my precious kiddos at work!